by metroknow on February 12, 2011

in Uncategorized

BUY Viagra ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, Here's a story that started out crappy, and turned out...well...whatever the opposite of "crappy" is :)

Today is Friday. Fridays in our household are typically characterized by two things: Everybody is tired, and everybody is ready for a break from the routine. Order Viagra online c.o.d, In truth, I can't say for sure that the kids are ready for the same checking out as the parents, but still...I think they are primed for a break from the constant reminders of what it means to be a citizen in our little regime. Today was no different, online buying Viagra. By this afternoon, after a kind but very necessary, Canada, mexico, india, "we need to talk" moment with our carpooling driver about our verbally charming 6-year-old, a, "do I need to pull this car over" scene for mom with our almost-4-yr-old, and a looooong emotional week for the adults, Viagra 50mg, the after school activities worked their way into a frenzied, emotional state that usually ends badly. Not so today, BUY Viagra ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Købe Viagra online, αγοράζουν online Viagra, Jonah decided that today was a good day to exercise his newly rediscovered ability to throw a blood-curdling tantrum when things were not going according to his master plan for 6-year-old world domination. I can respect that; I feel like throwing a fit from time to time when I am stuck at the DMV, or when I work on my taxes (maybe I should work on my taxes at the DMV...but I digress). The difference of course, Viagra 500mg, is at age 6 versus 3, his increasingly-developed version of a tantrum lasts far longer, Viagra 250mg, and involves varying degrees of creative, pointed, and thought-driven protest. The stomping, online buying Viagra, the slamming of doors, the shouting and incessant repeated main course of what he wants mixed with a side salad of whining and a screaming-like-a-banshee dressing. . Buy no prescription Viagra online, .The blood boils to think about it. To his credit, he has mastered the speaking skills of repetition for emphasis and the use of gestures to emphasize the important points of his oratorial extravaganza, but on a Friday, buy Viagra from mexico. When I'm ready for a beer and a ...well, another beer. Jacksonville, Florida, Columbus, Ohio, C'mon.

I should pause for a moment to mention that April, my dear, sweet, kind, patient, loving, amazingly intelligent and "you complete me" beautiful soulmate wife was also at the end of her week's rope, BUY Viagra ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Done. Ready for a cocktail and a foot rub. Not exactly in the mood to manage an effervescent tyrannical mini-me seeking to assert his immutable and indomitable power upon the unsuspecting masses of our household, purchase Viagra online no prescription, much less one who knows where her pain points are and exercises them like a personal trainer with control issues.

He was on a rampage, Viagra 100mg, and we tried everything in our book of peaceful parenting. BUY Viagra ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, We tried validating his feelings. We tried listening patiently and saying, "Wow, it feels like you are really angry, online buy Viagra without a prescription. You must be so frustrated!" We tried getting down on his level and saying, "You know, Baltimore, Maryland. Milwaukee, Wisconsin, I hear what you are saying. You are angry!" We tried what we thought in our tired state, every approach, and still - Nothing, Viagra 200mg. It felt like he was unreachable. He was Kanye West without the wardrobe, BUY Viagra ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Fidel Castro. Buy Viagra online no prescription, Tyra Banks in a tiff with a cell phone and a semi-sedentary target. At one point I directed the young Mr. Jong-il very kindly but firmly to express his emotions in his room, which also did not go well, order Viagra online overnight delivery no prescription. BUY Viagra ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, "Destroy what you want - its not my stuff - but know that I won't be replacing it." In my mind I'm thinking "be creative. Be the Jackson-fricking-Pollock of your domain. Or, Viagra 1000mg, 2000mg, don't. Your call." I too, was reaching that point of, "it's GO Time."

But then, 0.4mg, 0.5mg, 1mg, 2.5mg, I had an idea. When he emerged from his bunker of angst again in protest, Acheter en ligne Viagra, acheter Viagra bon marché, I got down on his level, and without, without, gritting my teeth, order Viagra online c.o.d, said, "You know, Købe Viagra online, αγοράζουν online Viagra, it looks like you are working REALLY hard at being angry. I mean you are putting some real work into it, BUY Viagra ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Look at that great angry face. Wow!" - all in an effort to get him to laugh even just a little. I then said, New York. Los Angeles, California, "You know...I bet...I bet I can jump higher than you on that little trampoline on our porch. No seriously. BUY Viagra ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, You. Canada, mexico, india, 6. I could SO jump higher than you." THIS got his attention. And he laughed a little.

The thing is, buy Viagra without a prescriptionI don't jump on the trampoline. Jumping - the bounding, skipping, spring-based vertical arts of any kind - where the unavoidable jiggling of man-parts and shuffling of biological junctions is involved, BUY Viagra ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Well let's just say it becomes an exercise in unfortunate abrasion and quivering gelatinous embarrassment that I am not at all thrilled about. Buy Viagra without prescription, I don't do it. I avoid it like Justin Bieber's MTV pool party, or a family photo shoot in my underwear.

But, comprar en línea Viagra, comprar Viagra baratos, for the love of God and my child I got on the damn trampoline, and I jumped. BUY Viagra ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, And jumped the hell out of it, and jumped again, splaying my legs out trying to show the riotous crowd of one what it looks like when a dorky-looking overweight white guy jumps on a stupid contraption for skinny people that makes you feel like the tender bits of your frame could turn at any moment into a Hollywood crime scene. Viagra in cats, dogs, children, And this got a rise out of him. He got on the trampoline to show me how much he could out-do me on it. "Dad, I jumped WAY higher than you!" - and he was right, köpa Viagra online, Osta Viagra online, Jotta Viagra verkossa. I of course played the Devil's advocate here and challenged him further, alternating with him, looking completely stupid, but...and here's the point...Winning him over. He jumped harder, and higher, and with such great intensity that I could almost see the tension melting off, BUY Viagra ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. Spinal compression releases the happy chemicals. Proof positive.

This, was working.

Feeling empowered but still frayed, I followed it with a tickle session on the couch that involved his younger sister directing when to start and stop the tickling. BUY Viagra ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION, Then, to really seal the deal, I became a robot that he could direct to set the table for him. Every instruction was his for me to follow. If he told me to go outside I did it. If he instructed me to put a fork on every napkin, I put one on every napkin - including the ones in the napkin drawer. He loved it.

It worked, BUY Viagra ONLINE NO PRESCRIPTION. And in the end, here's what happened. After two subsequent hours of peaceful play with his younger sister, at bedtime we received the following, unsolicited and unexpected, complete with an abundance of hand-drawn hearts:

Translated: "To Mom/To Dad: I'm sorry from [for] not listening. I'm sorry from [for] being mean. I should have been nice to Mom. Love, Jonah." We talked heart-to-heart a bit about how things should go, and what went wrong, and that was the end of it.

Body count: 0. Mission: Successful.

Time for that cocktail.

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